Lebron James Demands A Recount

Miami, Florida – The winners of the most recent NBA Finals are the Dallas Mavericks. This is despite having Lebron James on the other team, the Miami Heat. Many were perplexed when this outcome occurred. How did a team with a weird-looking German white guy beat three talented black guys? The Miami Heat had Lebron James, Dwayne Wade and that other guy. Yet, somehow they lost the series.

They came so close to victory, yet failed to accomplish their main goal – winning an NBA title. “I just can’t believe it is true!” said James, yesterday. Even after days to let the information sink in, James can not believe that he is not going home with a championship ring. “This is the exact opposite of what I planned on doing in the beginning of the season!” He went on to tell us that he was happy that he made it as far as the finals, but was still left empty by not being able to host the post-modern-looking trophy with his teammates.

Having let some time pass on the situation, James felt he was more level-headed than when he first learned the news that he would not be winning the NBA Finals. He has now teamed up with the best lawyers that he could find on TV commercials during Maury in the Miami area to fight the results of the NBA Finals in court. He claims that he performed better than what was shown on television and he wants his efforts to be recorded appropriately.

This morning, James' legal team sent out subpoenas to the NBA offices to obtain the tapes of each game that he played in during the finals. James claims that he wants a recount of all the points to prove that he was, in fact, the rightful winner of the NBA Finals. "I remember my fourth quarter performances being better than what was reported. Someone in the media has it out for me." James then went on to discuss how a recount of all the points scored would finally bring him justice. He remembered a Florida recount before and remembered there was an outcome. However, he wasn't sure if he was in favor of it or not, but irregardless demands it for the NBA Finals. Lebron James has also subpoenaed Marv Albert as a witness to his greatness. No word on whether he has also subpoenaed Albert’s hair piece, who was also present during the NBA Finals.
“Something’s going on here, and I am bound and determined to get to the bottom of it!” said James in a press conference earlier this morning. James vowed to give up weight training and practice in the off season to further his case and obtain a true recount of the points scored.

James’ teammates are mixed in their opinions on the matter. Wade was quoted as saying “We lost to a better team. It is now time to put that behind us and focus on the next season.” However, the other guy said “We were wronged and I am glad that my teammate and friend, Lebron James, is pursuing this. I also wouldn’t mind if he subpoenaed me for his case. Or even if he just wanted to call to talk about the case or whatever happens to be on his mind. I’m going to miss him in these next few months... CALL ME!”

While James remains determined to find the real killer of his season, we will keep you updated on new developments in this case and will alert you if he makes any contact with the other guy in the Miami Heat three-some.