Black Friday Starts Earlier For One Clothing Store This Year

Menomonee Falls, WI – The term “Door Buster” is very prevalent these days. Stores are opening earlier and earlier each year in hopes to gain a few extra shoppers over their competitors. It is within this fourth quarter that most businesses see majority of their year's income and the fight for the attention of consumers really ramps up.

This is why many stores have begun opening up for “Black Friday” as early as midnight or even in the later hours of Thanksgiving. One such store hopes to get a jump on other retail outlets by opening it's doors not earlier on Thanksgiving, but instead at 9 pm CST this evening. Shoppers at Kohl's can take advantage of Black Friday prices as early as this evening. The clothing retailer plans on remaining open until the end of the business day on Sunday.

A few weeks ago, Kohl's employees were told of the plan to stay open around the clock for four days and were instructed to enjoy time with their families earlier in the week to provide open availability for Kohl's throughout this pivotal weekend.  Some employees have provided communal cots, pillows, blankets and even toiletries for their co-workers in the employee break area.  Many were explaining to others how to effectively bathe in a public restroom within their 15 minute coffee break.  Throughout this time, Kohl's employees have petitioned friends and family to provide an provisions such as canned goods for their stay.  Some locations are without a microwave, so if you are planning on donating, it is recommended that you contact an employee about their potential food heating abilities before you donate.  Above all, majority of Kohl's employees are just asking for "thoughts and prayers through this trying time." 

When asked, Kohl's customers seemed mixed. While Karen Probst felt that it provided “more flexibility” in scheduling when she could go shopping, Samuel Segrum said that he would probably wait until he has had an "opportunity to enjoy some quality time with (his) family" to enjoy the great savings at Kohl's.  Kohl's customers do all agree that they will more than likely take advantage of Kohl's Black Friday prices due to the unlikely occurrence of Kohl's having any type of discount or sale at their locations throughout the rest of the year.

We asked to speak with Kohl's CEO Kevin Mansell about his decision to stay open for more than 4 days straight. “We want to offer a fun shopping experience for our shoppers. They can stop by our website to see when certain items will be on sale for them. And then they can take advantage of that particular sale. For example, bath towels will be on sale tonight at 3 am for one hour only!” Mansell's excitement faded when asked about his decision to not permit his employees to enjoy Thanksgiving with their family in hopes that these additional hours of operation will make the Kohl's shareholders (KSS) richer. “My thoughts on their (my employee's) Thanksgiving? (Expletive) 'em.”

A Kansas Group Wants To Put God Back In Sneezing

Tonganoxie, Kansas – We have all heard about “The War on Christmas” from respected pundits like Bill O'Reily and Steven Colbert. Their main goal is to put God back in Christmas. One group in Kansas is taking that a step further and are making moves to put God back in year round in their campaign to put God back in “God bless you.”

Kathy Richardson of Tonganoxie has headed up the campaign that now has over two dozen followers. “When I sneeze, I want God to bless me. Not some random stranger.” The removal of God from this blessing has occurred with a greater frequency in the past few years. “You (random stranger) can't bless me as much as God can. Let's change this back.”

The saying “God bless you” was first used around 77 AD and gained greater popularity in the days of

the plague. During these times, one of the first signs of the illness was sneezing. The Pope at the time, Pope Gregory I, encouraged this small prayer for the sneezer with hopes of preventing them from dying of the plague.

Kathy Richardson wants those simpler times to return. “I don't want the plague to return, just the part of God being put back in the blessing.” Her team has started raising awareness by starting their own Facebook page due to the assistance of Richardson's son, Kevin.  (Kevin has stated his indifference to his mother's cause saying "Whatever.  I did it to help my mom.")  The page has 8 followers, mainly because many of those supporting the cause do not partake in social media. They have also given talks at their church, Victory Baptist. They have even put up posters in the local grocery store, B & J Country Mart. The owner of the store could not be reached for comment to gauge his support (or lack of it) in Richardson's cause, but an employee stated that the community cork board is for members of the community and removing anything from it, including lost cat notices, band sign ups and car sales would be a violation of free speech rights.

While their campaign is new, it has attracted an unlikely celebrity backer in Dane Cook who even brought up the issue in one of his stand-up routines before launching into a long personal story that happened to a lesser-known comedian.  (Please see link at the bottom of this article.) 

The newly divorced mother of three said that her divorce was a blessing, for it has allowed her more free time to focus on her cause, which she holds close to her heart.  Richardson has lofty goals of going before the Kansas Supreme Court to petition for a state amendment to their constitution that would require citizens keep God in their sneeze blessings.  (She made moves to get this referendum put on the most recent mid-term elections, but was unable to get the signatures necessary in time for the ballot printing. 

Richardson doesn't plan on stopping with just local/state government. “I want to take this to the highest courts in the land and then over seas to non-Christian countries.”  She has ordered magnetic signs for her two cars and the cars of those close to the cause.  T-Shirts, signs, magnets and other items can be purchased to help with their mission.  While no online presence is available at the time, you can send a letter with a check in it to Richardson.  These purchases will help fund her international trips to countries like Canada, where she hopes to start her global campaign in 2018.  "It is time that I forget about and move on from Russell (Her former husband) and start focusing on what God has called me to do."  At the time of this posting, God has declined to comment.

 

"Comic" Dane Cook's Sneezing Group Support (NSFW) 

Fire Fighters Band Together To Fight More Than A Fire

McNary, Arizona - After many years of silence, a small group of firefighters have come forth to combat a quiet stereotype that we have all come to accept as the norm. One particular house, lead under the leadership of Chief Edward Stewart, wants to put an end to the unfair sexualization of those in the fire fighting profession. For years, pin-ups and calendars have demeaned the profession of fire fighting and rescue.  It has almost given women the permission to see these men as nothing more than objects.  From what we could gather, most firefighters are sick of this image and wish to do away with it.  “It is about time this all stopped,” Stewart said. “It will just continue to get worse, if we don't do something now.”

These men, who have fought for years through many trials and tribulations to even become a member of the squad, just want the respect that they deserve. “Yeah, the respect thing was good after 9/11, but it has fallen away as of late. And now, we are being seen as pieces of meat again.” said Tony Freedmont. He went on to say that he does not mean to imply that he wants another 9/11, but instead to get the respect that he and his co-workers deserve.

During TJONJ's short 12 minute interview with these gentlemen, two women catcalled the firehouse as they walked by. One even made a lewd comment about a fire hose. While this happened, some of the firefighters hung their heads in shame while still others permitted the anger and frustration to be seen on their faces.

Stewart has, in recent weeks, started a 501(c)3 charity to help promote awareness of this continuing

problem. Firefighter Organization Curbing Ugly Stereotypes (FOCUS) hopes to shine a light on this growing problem.  His goal is that no firefighter is ever seen as attractive again.  “We are sons, fathers, brothers and even uncles, sometimes. Enough with the degradation.” said Stewart. “We just want to be seen as awesome guys who do a difficult job and should be respected almost at the level of military personnel.  You know, call us 'Heroes' again.  Oh, and on a side note, enough of the cat in the tree jokes. They are old and tired.”

New Law In Illinois To Effect The Food Service Industry

Springfield - The people of the state of Illinois passed several referendums in the most recent mid-term elections. While the minimum wage decision will effect them, the one that servers are most appreciative of is the catch up vs. order referendum. Patrons of restaurants, diners and the like will now be forced to place their order before catching up with their friends.

“What a relief!” said one server, who didn't wish to be identified. “Finally we can put in the order and the (guests) can catch up with one another while their order is being prepared!” The average appetizer takes about 8-10 minutes to prepare and dinner could be as much as 20-30 minutes of wait time. This should give patrons ample time to find out what is going on in the life of their friend and their friend's family and friends. Server Laurie went on to say that this will eventually cut down on the wait time for other patrons who wish to dine at her establishment.

“By cutting down on the wait time, we can offer that table to (guests) quicker and serve more people.” said James, a restaurant manager. “This will increase profits and the guest experience. I mean, who wants to wait an extra 20 minutes while (guests) share pictures of their grand kids?” It all seems to boil down to a lack of empathy from those with a booth to the booth-less individuals awaiting a meal. “I want to tell them,” James continued, “You waited 40 minutes for your table and now people are waiting longer, more than an hour, for yours. Please stop swiping through pictures of your cruise of Alaska and put in an order of Spinach Dip!”

The initiative stemmed from a little known class action lawsuit known as “Hosts v The We Haven't Even Looked Yet.” In order to make this a statewide option for all dining enthusiasts, the referendum was brought to the public.

Starting January 1^st, patrons will be forced to place their order in a timely manner and issued a warning to peruse the menu provided if it is not done at their earliest convenience. Should patrons wish to “catch up,” they will be encouraged to do so at the very least after placing an appetizer order. Drinks must be ordered within 3 minutes of gaining access to a table and/or seating area.

Those who did not support the bill sited that sometimes they get wrapped up in their conversations and are just having fun finding out what has recently happened to their friend or family member. In response to these protests, supporters of the bill told them to “get a (expletive) Facebook account.”

While this was a win for the food service industry, more legislation may be on the way dependent upon the outcome of a case against those who stay too long after the bill has been delivered. All eyes are on “We Didn't Notice The Lights Came Up And The Music Was Cut v I Am Getting Dangerously Close To Overtime And Will Now Have To Give Up A Whole Shift While You Sip Cold Coffee”