Derrick Rose Breaks Silence On Ankle!

Chicago – There is a great deal of concern surrounding Derrick Rose’s ankle throughout the play-offs. The current thoughts are that he has injured it beyond what he is letting on and has possibly aggravated the injury due to his continued play. However, Rose has recently held a press conference to dispel any conspiracy theories about his current situation.

In his press conference, Rose explained that he has been able to play through this injury due the use of modern medicine mixed with futuristic science. On the day that he injured his ankle, he had just watched Robo-Cop for the third time and this was only days after watching Short Circuit.

Using the information that he absorbed from these two blockbuster films, Rose went to work in his home science lab to create a mechanical ankle that would carry him to his first ever NBA title. “I can’t let my teammates, the Bulls organization and the city of Chicago down. If there’s a will, there’s a way and I will do what it takes to continue performing at my top potential.”

It was this determination that fueled Rose to create a fully functioning mechanical ankle that he installed into his foot himself. Through a wise use of hydraulics and powered by a battery that is fueled with the piezoelectric properties of walking, jumping and running that Rose plans to do on the court anyway, his ankle is back to normal. Some feel that he even has improved.

When asked if the surgery he performed on himself, in his home surgical theater, proved to be difficult, Rose claimed that it was easier than he thought. He had just finished watching the box-set of ER season 2. “I have always picked up on things rather quickly. It was rather simple, actually. I have several patents being reviewed to be able to market this and offer it to many others.” Rumor has it that Rose is also in talks with Nike to be able to put their famous swoosh on the prosthetic ankles. He declined to discuss this stating that many things were in motion.

As the press conference was winding down, one reporter asked Rose if he had ever seen The Six Million Dollar Man. He laughed and responded “Sorry, I haven’t even heard of that one. It must be before my time!”

The Bulls are scheduled to defeat the Heat in game three tonight at 7:30 CST.