Rodger Goodell Still Hasn't Seen The Ray Rice Video

In a recent interview with the current commissioner of the NFL, Rodger Goodell, he claims he has yet to see the Ray Rice video that has removed the Baltimore running back from the league for life.  "I just don't have the time," Goodell says.  He went on to say that he has never seen any film or footage of any NFL player at any time off the field or on the field.  "I am just too busy promoting our 'Play 60' initiative with the young fans of the NFL."  Goodell showed a full schedule book of attending school assemblies and randomly walking through public parks and play grounds.  It is at these venues that he tells kids about the importance of playing for 60 minutes a day.  "It is my true passion."
When offered to see the short, yet disgustingly violent, video from our TJONJ reporter, Goodell closed his eyes, placed his fingers in his ears and started shouting "NO, NO, NO.  I AM TOO BUSY!"  He then removed his mic and left the room.  His publicist explained his actions by saying he had double booked the interview with an opportunity to visit a pick-up basketball game across town.
In a related story, Adrien Peterson released a statement that somewhat goes against several previous
statements.  The Minnesota running back says that he has never hit a child, he does not even have a child of his own nor has he ever been in the presence of anyone under the age of 10 at any time in his life.  Peterson offered the possible solution of "I'm guess that boy did that stuff to his self?"