Monday, November 18, 2013

Texting Epidemic

Roseburg, OR - Kevin Dominic wakes each day with regret.  It all stems from a typical Saturday afternoon in 1999.  Nothing seemed out of the ordinary and even the text conversation that he had with his friend, Rob(ert) Grayson, seemed pretty straight forward.  What Dominic didn't realize is that he would be the epicenter of the worst thing to happen to modern communication.
The conversation between Dominic and Grayson went like this:

Dominic:  Wanna see Office Space at Harvard Cinema at 7:15?
Grayson:  Sure.  Pick you up at 6:45.
Dominic: Kk

Dominic remembers it too clearly.  He sometimes fires up the Nokia 5150 he used to send the text to remind himself of his careless ways.  "I didn't mean to hurt anyone."  He reasoned.  "I just hit the 5 button twice."
Dominic claims that he meant to send Grayson "Ok" instead of "Kk," but that he accidently hit the wrong button.  This carelessness has lead to morons across the country confirming statements with two K's.  These same morons keep up with the Kardashians and find Ed Hardy appealing.  They also think Gluten is a bad thing.
"If I could take it back, I would.  I would..." Trailed off Dominic.  But he knows that the damage has been done.  "It has become so trivial today.  Majority of the time, it is used when it is not even needed.  It is a useless text.  I wonder how much data and time has been wasted with the 'Kk' text..." 
Researchers don't have a solid number, but they are confident that the value of the data lost exceeds $2.8 billion and had the time not been wasted, a cure to most major diseases would be solved by now.  The next time someone you love dies, remember Dominic.  He killed them with an alleged slip of his finger.

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