Area Man Feels Toaster Took Too Long

Arlington Heights, Illinois– An area man, who did not wish to be identified, encountered a puzzling occurrence over the past weekend. Having lived in Arlington Heights for years now, he has never had an issue such as this one.

While preparing a roast beef sandwich this Sunday, Jarred Kilborne decided that he would like his sandwich on toasted rye. He felt that this would melt the mayonnaise slightly and give the sandwich a more unique taste as well as add a crunchy texture that Kilborne would find appealing. This decision was made after assembling the ingredients for the sandwich, which made the toasting of the rye the last step in the preparation. Had this decision been made earlier in the process, the toasting could have been done during other elements of the sandwich’s assemblage. Thus, saving time and allowing him to enjoy the sandwich at an earlier point.

However, the last minute decision of the toasting of the bread caused a halt in the preparation. Kilborne attempted to find other small tasks to fill this gap in order to feel more productive, but came up empty-handed at a task that would be both productive and not take up much of his time.

Much to his chagrin, Kilborne could have selected a task that would have devoured more time, for it seemed that his toaster was taking longer than usual to toast his bread. “I don’t understand it. I doubt that anyone has adjusted the toasting lever on my toaster to a higher setting. It has never taken this long.” said Kilborne about the extended toasting.

Kilborne began watching the toasting to be sure that the bread wouldn’t become over-toasted. This potential scenario would cause Kilborne to toss out the over-toasted bread and would leave Kilborne with no other alternative than to begin the process over again with new bread. This was something that he wished to avoid.

“It has never taken as long as it did. I wonder if something in the toaster has changed.” Many different hypotheses have evolved from this strange phenomenon. One being that the internal components of Kilborne’s toaster had been altered slightly to prevent a rapid toasting. However, experts tend to agree that the toasting time had not been lengthened, but that the perception of the time necessary to toast the bread to an appropriate level had not been accurately recorded. It is felt that due to the fact that the toasting of the bread was usually done while Kilborne was otherwise preoccupied with other elements of sandwich preparation, that the true length of time was altered by Kilborne’s perception of the toasting process in the first place.

“It was very odd. While it seemed to take a while, the bread did come out as the lever on the toaster suggested.” The continuity of the precise toasting performed by the toaster remained in tact, but Kilborne has made a solemn vow to continue to keep an eye on the toaster to be sure that it’s toasting perfection remains consistent. No more information was given on the final outcome of the sandwich.